Language Matters

If there was ever an era in which we have evidence that language matters, it’s today. The conflict, divisiveness and violence experienced today can be traced directly to language being employed.

What’s worse, is that the conflict-inducing language is being spread widely through social media, our politicians, the “news” media, and a plethora of political pundits. Members of each group are either seeking personal attention or attempting to impose their values and beliefs on society at large…or some combination of the two.

Unfortunately, our education system is not designed to help our youth cope with the vagaries of today’s negative language. Indeed, teachers regularly tell me that they deal with conflict on a daily basis; not only among their students, but among their fellow teachers as well.

Ideally, our education system would include in its curricula things like:

  • NLP (neurolinguistic programming) training which helps us understand the impact that language has on behavior and how using positive language enriches our lives and increases our enjoyment of life.
  • Confidence training (an admittedly personal bias) which recognizes the fact that confident people are positive in both their language and behaviors, thereby dramatically reducing the occurrences of conflict, divisiveness and violence.
  • Conflict-prevention training which teaches us how to disagree without creating defensiveness or being denigrating; either of which can escalate to violence.

Given the battles waging over education today, I doubt that we’ll see any of these implemented in the near future. That leaves the task to us to fill in the gaps in our kids education so that they learn these lessons.



You can find a plethora of books on NLP in virtually every library. Go to your local library, get a copy and read it aloud to your kids. You’ll all benefit from these concepts. Plus you’ll find that your bond with your kids grows stronger as their questions lead to heartfelt discussions about how NLP works.

If your library doesn’t have any books on NLP, search online at Goodreads (opens in a new link), Abe’s Books (opens in a new link), Barnes & Noble (opens in a new link) and Amazon (opens in a new link). The rewards for you and your family will greatly outweigh what you pay for the book.


At the risk of being viewed as self-promoting, you’ll find books on each of the three levels of confidence at (opens in a new link).

Lead A Life Of Confidence deals with the first level of confidence…becoming consistently confident even with no background or experience.

Stand Out From The Crowd introduces you to the second level of confidence in which you and your kids learn to convert confidence into influence and opportunity.

One With The Universe, the third level of confidence, helps you and your kids tap into the power of the subconscious mind to more quickly solve problems and convert emotions into productive behaviors.

In addition to the books, you’ll find videos and sample lessons from self-study and certification courses. You’ll also find Confidence and Character Development (opens in a new link), a white paper that demonstrates how confidence training enhances character development.

Conflict prevention

Conflict resolution training has been very popular for many years, both inside and outside our education system. I’ve never understood the appeal. Why wait until you’re in conflict to find a resolution when you can learn how to prevent conflict?

I’ have a program that teaches how to disagree with others without creating defensiveness which often leads to conflict and, potentially, violence. For more information on this program and how to schedule a presentation for your organization, contact me at 314-707-3771 or

My mission in life is to help you and the kids in your life enjoy richer, fuller lives through greater confidence and all the benefits confidence affords.

For you

You can help yourself weather the daily barrage of negative language being foist upon you by developing the habits of thinking and speaking in confident, encouraging language. At the very least, become familiar with NLP and practice it religiously. The more of us there are speaking positive language, the greater likelihood that we’ll trigger behaviors in others that benefit society as a whole.

Something that has helped me is that I filter out the bias I hear in news reports. In other words, I’m listening for facts, not opinions. Opinions are inherently biased. I don’t need others’ biases, I have enough of my own.

I also severely limit the amount of time I spend on “news” reports because they’ve become so heavily biased. I’m not naive enough to believe in unbiased news; that’s contrary to our human nature. Unfortunately, today bias is being taken to extremes.

Feel free to use the free resources on my website, and this weekly blog, to provide you with what I intend to be positive, uplifting, life-enriching messages.

For our kids

Given the negative, conflict-provoking language so prevalent today, it’s essential that we take it upon ourselves to teach the kids in our lives how to:

  • Think and speak positively.
  • Recognize bias and avoid allowing it to induce fear, anxiety and frustration on their part.
  • Disagree with others without creating defensiveness, conflict and, potentially, violence.

I’ve shared resources with you that will help you in these efforts. You have the power to help your kids, and yourself, through these divisive times. Your kids will be eternally grateful to you for having cared enough to allay their fears, anxiety and frustration.

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Let others know that you love them by sharing this blog post. They’ll appreciate that you care.

Readers would love to see your thoughts and experiences in a comment.

If you’d like to enjoy great confidence, check out our Confidence Self-Study programs (opens in a new link).

If you’d like to enrich the lives of others by teaching them to be more confident, check out our Teaching Confidence Instructor Certification program (opens in a new link).

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