Intimate, Not Personal

In the Eckhart Tolle video, The Dark Night of the Soul, an audience member spoke of his awareness being intimate, yet not personal. 

His statement triggered memories of the intimacy I’ve felt in my dealings with others. In many instances, this intimacy was not born of previous experience with the individual. Indeed, the intimacy experienced felt the same whether I’d just met the person or had known the person for decades. In other words, my experience was intimate without being personal.

Awareness and intimacy

What these memories tell me is that awareness triggers feelings of intimacy with anyone we meet…including those who are being difficult. The intimacy with others is result of having first  experienced intimacy with the universe, God, a higher power, or whatever term you prefer.

As we become aware of being one with a higher power, a greater intelligence, we know with absolute certainty that we have access to all of the knowledge the higher power possesses. It’s this sense of oneness that creates intimacy between us and the rest of the universe. Because all others are a part of this universe, we automatically experience feelings of intimacy with all whom we meet. 

It’s an amazing, very life-enriching, feeling that has practical value. As our awareness assures us of ready access to the greater intelligence of the universe, we quickly realize that we all experience the same things to differing degrees. We all experience the same range of emotions which enables us to help people we’ve just met deal with the emotional challenges they face. We do not need to know them personally to be able to help them. 

Conscious awareness

The key to gaining this level of intimacy is learning to consciously employ your subconscious mind. For it’s in your ability to tap into the subconscious mind consciously and at will that you experience the intimacy I’ve described above. Your subconscious mind is your connection to the higher power.

There are two aspects of your subconscious mind that you can access any time you like. The first is the problem-solving aspect of the subconscious mind; the second is the emotional aspect. Emotions are messages from the subconscious, which means they come from the higher power. As we discover what these messages mean, we can quickly convert them to productive behaviors. Let’s explore both aspects in greater detail.


You’ve already accessed your subconscious to help you solve problems, but probably didn’t realize what you did. I call it the shower epiphany. You struggle with a problem all day to no avail. You got to bed at night wondering “How am I going to solve this problem?” The next morning in the shower, the solution comes to mind…seemingly out of the ether.

What happened is that when you wondered “How am I going to solve this problem?,” you assigned it to your subconscious mind. Your subconscious worked on it as you slept and provided the answer while you mind was free…in the shower. Once you realize what you did and the result it produced, you’ll know that you can ask your subconscious “How?” any time that you’re facing a problem, day or night, and get an answer. 

As your awareness grows, you’ll find other uses for your subconscious. I use mine instead of an alarm clock. I use it to remind me that a program I want to watch is coming on. I use it while reading to help me identify concepts that will help me in other aspects of my life. This blog post is an example of how Mr. Tolle’s video triggered an idea that may help you. Awareness that I have complete access to the universe’s intelligence helps me listen more carefully and without judgment.

Emotions as messages

As I became aware that emotions are messages and what these message mean, I find that I no longer nurture the emotion. Instead, I know precisely what I need to do, which enables me to set aside the emotion and make a conscious, non-judgmental decision about what to do.

Setting aside the emotion reduces stress. Knowing what to do, and doing it, energizes me and generates results more quickly. Both the reduced stress and quicker results makes life a lot more fun and exciting for me. Not to mention that it boosts my confidence dramatically.

If you’d like to become more aware of what your emotions are telling you follow this simple technique. As you experience an emotion, pause. Ask your subconscious mind “What are you telling me?” You will get an answer. 

If you’re not getting an answer, it’s probably because you’re asking an “if” question. You are probably wondering “If this Is the right choice? If this is what the message intended? If you have the talent, resources or experience to be successful?” These “if” questions have one thing in common, they imply doubt. When you feed doubt into your subconscious mind, it first has to overcome the doubts (doesn’t happen) before it can provide an answer to what you really want to know.

By asking “What is this message telling me?” You imply that there is an answer, that there is no doubt that an answer exists. Because your request is devoid of doubt, you will always get an answer.

So why should you care?

For you

You have the power to become intimate with your higher power and, in doing so, with everyone you meet…whether you have a personal relationship with them or not. You know from personal experience, the joy you feel when you connect with someone…whether you just met them or have known them for decades. 

There’s a joy we experience when we connect with others, a natural high that we experience, that we can enjoyed each and every day, multiple times a day, by simply becoming aware of our connection to our higher power. You deserve this joy.

For our kids

As your awareness grows, so will the intimacy of your bond with your kids. It’ll also be easier for you to help them through the challenges they’ll inevitably face.

More importantly, as your awareness and intimacy grow you’ll be able to teach them how to enjoy the intimacy that makes your life so rich. In the process, you’ll teach them how to reduce the stress in their lives while enjoying their connections to others everyday, multiple times a day. What an amazing gift to be able to give your kids.

Feel free to share this blog with those you feel would benefit from this message. It’s an easy way to say “I love you. I’m thinking of you.”

I love hearing your thoughts and experiences, please share your wisdom in a comment.

If you’d like to enjoy great confidence, check out our Confidence Self-Study programs (opens in a new link) (opens in a new link). 

If you’d like to enrich the lives of others by teaching them to be more confident, check out our Teaching Confidence Instructor Certification program (opens in a new link)

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