Are consistency and confidence related? The question of relatedness arose when a worker was asked whether he liked working for his boss. He responded “Yes, he’s consistent. There’s no roller coaster with him; he’s the same every day with all of us.”
There are three striking phrases in that response:
- No roller coaster.
- Every day.
- With all of us.
In these phrases lie the definition of consistency. To be truly consistent, we have to eliminate emotional responses from the dynamics of daily living…no roller coaster.
We have to be the same person day in and day out, in both our business and personal lives. And we have to be that way with everyone with whom we interact.
This seems like a tall order, but is it? Or is it a natural byproduct of confidence?
To answer this question we need to explore some of the behaviors that confidence triggers.
Confidence makes us:
- More caring.
- Less judgmental.
- More aware.
- Better communicators.
Let’s explore each of these in more detail to see how they make consistency more attainable.
Confident people tend to be happy because they are less plagued by doubt, fear and anxiety. Consequently, they tend to be less emotional. It’s not that they don’t experience emotion, but they quickly set aside emotions, euphoria as well as the more perplexing emotions, in favor of a more calm, reasoned approach to what comes their way.
It’s their calm, reasoned approach that enables them to be consistent in the eyes of others.
Confident people feel fortunate…well cared for. As a result they care about others. They regularly stop what they’re doing to help someone in need. Their confidence enables them to know that a slight delay in their efforts won’t affect their ability to achieve their desired outcome. That’s what makes it so easy for them to place others’ needs ahead of their wishes.
Confident people don’t judge others or situations. They realize that nothing is all good or all bad. They don’t judge people because their values and beliefs differ from their own. Instead, they respect everyone’s right to the choices they make for themselves. They also realize that they can learn a lot from people who see things differently than they do.
This lack of judgment, along with a healthy respect for others’ values, beliefs and choices, help make them consistent in their dealings with others…whether they agree with them or not.
Confident people are more aware of their own values, beliefs, abilities and weaknesses; and they readily share this information with others. In other words, they are transparent to others. This transparency enables others to feel comfortable in their dealings with confident people.
The awareness that confident people possess also enables them to be more highly attuned to what others are experiencing. This ability, along with their caring nature and lack of judgment, makes it easier for confident people to meet others where they are…to direct their interactions in a way that assures others that they care about them and respect their right to their beliefs and choices.
Another advantage that heightened awareness affords confident people is that they are better communicators. They are more clear in their expectations as well as what the consequences are for failing to meet expectations.
Confident people typically deal with unmet expectations by offering the offending person options and allowing them to choose from those options. They know that people are happier when they get to make the choice instead of having a choice foist upon them. It’s also easier for confident people to deal with situations in which others become disenchanted with the choice they made. The confident person’s approach is to offer a new set of options.
It’s not difficult to see how someone who possesses these qualities would be viewed as consistent.
If you’d like to have people enjoy dealing with you because you are consistent i.e. they know what to expect from you, each and every day, in all your dealings, here’s what you need to do:
- Examine the five elements listed above: happier, more caring, less judgmental, more aware and better communicators, and rate yourself on a scale of one to five with five being high.
- Find two or three people that you know you can rely upon to be absolutely candid with you and have them rate you on each of the five elements using the same five-point scale.
- Compare the ratings and ask for clarification from the other raters where their ratings differ.
- Based on your findings, choose to work on just one element where you feel you can quickly improve your score. I know that’s counterintuitive, but success breeds confidence and confidence accelerates success…and consistency.
- Work on the one you’ve chosen for at least a week by reminding yourself each morning that your focus for the day is on improving that aspect of your confidence. Then shortly before retiring revisit your successes for the day as well as lessons learned when you didn’t quite meet your objective.
- Choose the next most attainable element for the following week. Employ the same daily routine.
You’ll be amazed and how quickly both your confidence and your consistency grow.
For our kids
Life this message and your kids will likely mimic your behavior. Help them see, early in life, how important it is to be consistent and how much easier it makes their dealings with others. They’ll thank you for making their lives so much easier and enjoyable.
Let others know that you love them by sharing this blog post. They’ll appreciate that you care.
I love hearing your thoughts and experiences, please share them in a comment.
If you’d like to enjoy great confidence, check out our Confidence Self-Study programs (opens in a new link).
If you’d like to enrich the lives of others by teaching them to be more confident, check out our Teaching Confidence Instructor Certification program (opens in a new link).
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