While we all experience the same emotions, confident people experience them differently.
Before we get into a discussion of why this is true, let’s remind ourselves that each and every one of us is confident…more so in some situations than others. The distinction we’re making is between people who are consistently confident and those who typically are confident only when background and experience exist.
People, who don’t feel confident when they face unfamiliar situations, experience doubt, fear, anxiety. As do people consistently confident people.
The difference is that less-confident people nurture their doubts, fear and anxiety. Nurturing these emotions creates an endless cycle of excitement, hope, doubt, fear, excitement, hope, doubt and fear again. It’s exhausting. And typically they don’t get out of this cycle and move forward until they have emotionally and physically exhausted themselves. The time lost in nurturing their emotions delays achievement of their goals and prolongs the pain they feel.
On the flip side of the coin, less-confident people view joy, peace and fulfillment as fleeting emotions. In part, because they feel that what they’re experiencing is a fluke, a stroke of luck, not something they helped create. Consequently their focus is on anticipating new challenges, new missteps, new frustrations awaiting them. Their focus makes even the most recent joy seem like a distant past.
Instead of nurturing doubts, fears and anxiety, consistently confident people quickly set them aside. They know that their real source of power is their ability to learn and adapt. They also know that they’ve never failed to deal effectively with any situation they’ve faced. That’s why, even though consistently-confident people experience the same emotions as less-confident people, they’re able to set them aside within nanoseconds. They do not nurture emotions that get in the way of what they desire.
Their success increases their confidence in their ability to deal with anything that comes their way…and to enjoy whatever it is life brings.
Consistently-confident people also experience joy, peace and fulfillment more frequently and for longer periods of time. For the consistently confident, these are natural states that they experience daily and virtually all day each and every day. It’s why these people are always sporting huge smiles, are genuinely glad to see you and always have the time to help some who is struggling.
Same emotions, significantly different experiences.
Follow these simple steps:
- Using the descriptions above, determine in which category you currently reside.
- If you’re in the consistently-confident group, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re enjoying life.
- If you’re in the less-confident group and you want out, remind yourself everyday that:
(a) You’ve never failed to deal with any situation you faced.
(b) power and confidence come from your ability to learn and adapt.
(c) When doubts, fear and anxiety appear you can choose whether to nurture or set aside these emotions.
(d) The key to more joyful living lies in your ability to consistently choose to set aside debilitating emotions.
For our kids
Teach your kids that their power comes from their ability to learn and adapt. Let them know that with this ability, they have the power to deal with anything that comes their way.
Make them aware that when they experience doubts, fear and anxiety they have a choice. They can either nurture these emotions which will exhaust them and then, and only then, will they find a solution to their problem. Or they can choose to set these emotions aside and quickly resolve whatever issue they’re facing. Remind them that all that’s required to set aside these emotions is to remember that they’ve never failed to deal with any situation they’ve faced.
They’ll appreciate this amazing gift for the rest of their lives.
I love hearing your thoughts and experiences, please share your wisdom in a comment.
If you’d like to enjoy great confidence, check out our Confidence Self-Study programs.
If you’d like to enrich the lives of others by teaching them to be more confident, check out our Teaching Confidence Instructor Certification program.