Confident Enough for Self-Examination?

What level of confidence does it take to invest time in self-examination?


This question emerged as I was reading a book by my dear friend, Don Eggleston. His book, entitled “With All We Are: Mission, purpose and transformation” recommends self-examination, not only for ourselves but for the organizations with which we’re involved.

I found it fascinating how persuasively Don demonstrated just how essential self-examination is for organizations as well as individuals. As I was reading, it occurred to me that self-examination is not something the majority of us relish. For many, self-examination triggers feelings of doubt, fear, anxiety and disappointment.

We doubt that the self-examination is going to leave us feeling better about ourselves. We are afraid to acknowledge our weaknesses…even though we know that everyone has them. The mere thought of self-examination makes us anxious because we’re almost certain that we’ll be disappointed with what we discover.

The good news is that with confidence all of these concerns, these negative feelings, go away.


Confident people have a much different perspective on self-examination than less-confident folks. They don’t fear the results of self-examination because they know with certainty that:

  • None of us is perfect, yet each of us has value.
  • Everyone is confident…just more so in some situations than others.
  • The only way to improve is to discover where they’re deficient.
  • Once they’ve identified a deficiency, they’ll find others who can help them improve.
  • Confidence grows with each improvement they make.
  • As their confidence and ability grows so does their ability to help others.
  • Joy is the byproduct of enriching the lives of others.

So how much confidence does it take to begin a candid self-examination? Just enough to make a conscious choice. That choice being “Do I want doubt, fear and anxiety to rule my life? Or do I want a life of peace, joy and fulfillment?”

On the surface it’s a simple choice, but we all know that it takes effort to set aside limiting emotions and choose a path that is uncertain and challenging. So let’s talk about how to make the transition easier.

For you

One of the simplest ways to retrain your mind to a more confident outlook is to take a few minutes, in the morning shortly after you rise and again just before bed, to read the list of things that confident people believe.

Every time that you read these characteristics of confident people, you’ll find that not only do you come to believe them, your mind will trigger ideas of how you can too can exhibit these characteristics…how they can become your ‘natural’ way of thinking and acting.

For our kids

To help your kids develop confidence and the habit of self-examination (did I forget to mention this is a life-long endeavor?), live the message. They’re more likely to follow your example than your instructions.
Make it a part of your morning ritual to go over the list with them and again prior to bedtime. I love getting multiple benefits from the same effort. And what better gifts could you give your children?

I love hearing your thoughts and experiences, please share your thoughts below.

If you’d like to enjoy great confidence, check out our Confidence Self-Study programs.

If you’d like to enrich the lives of others by teaching them to be more confident, check out our Teaching Confidence Instructor Certification program.

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