Confidence, Simplicity and Influence

What does confidence have to do with simplicity and influence? To answer that question let’s take each element in reverse order.


In order to gain influence, we must earn the trust of those with whom we are interacting. Trust requires understanding. If you don’t have a frame of reference for evaluating what I’m saying, or you don’t understand what I’m saying, there’s little likelihood that you’ll trust me. Without trust, there’s little likelihood that you’ll embrace my suggestions.


I can overcome your lack of a frame of reference for evaluating what I’m saying by simplifying my message in a way that makes it obvious what I’m saying is true. One of the simplest ways of accomplishing this is to frame my message in the context of everyday experiences…things that we all experience daily.



Over the years I’ve done a lot of work with businesses helping them get premium prices for their offerings. To illustrate the point that people will find the money they need to buy what they want I use the example of a trailer park.

I ask the client if they’ve ever driven through a trailer park and seen a really dilapidated trailer only to find a $40,000 pickup truck in the driveway? This is an experience the vast majority of us have had or it’s at least similar to an experience in which we were amazed that people spent money in ways we thought ridiculous.


By offering an example to which the listener can relate I’ve simplified the message enabling the person to validate my message with their own experience. The person no longer needs to trust me, they know from experience that what I’m saying is true.


A natural tendency we all possess by virtue of our humanity is to overly complicate things. How often has each of us done something then wondered “Why didn’t I just…?” Or had someone say to us “Why didn’t you…?” We’ve all had that experience.

Simplicity is born of an openness and awareness that there are always ways to improve upon what we’re doing. That awareness, that openness, is directly related to the level of confidence we’ve achieved.

You’ll notice that I didn’t say that it was a question of whether or not you’re confident. We are all confident in some situations…and less so in others. But the more confident we are in all aspects of our lives, the more open we are to reviewing what we’ve done in order to find ways to become more effective.

Confidence also enables us to see opportunities for improvement because we’re more aware of the connections between what we’re doing and the result we’re getting. This awareness enables us to see opportunities for improvement and enact them more quickly than those who are less confident.

In other words, confidence makes it easier for us to see ways to simplify our communications and, in doing so, gain people’s trust and, hence, an ability to influence them for their benefit.

For you

If you enjoy enriching the lives of others, and would like to do so more consistently, learn to simplify your messages.

First, remind yourself of times when you’ve simplified things for others and how readily they embraced your ideas. Second, pay attention to how you created simplicity in each instance. Finally, continue to employ these practices because they come naturally to you.

You’ll find that enriching others’ lives is easier and more easily replicated in all your encounters with others. By increasing the frequency of your success you will gain confidence which will in turn make it easier to simplify your advice and gain influence.

For our kids

Live the message. Kids are amazing observers. They learn much more from what we do than what we say.

When kids get frustrated because others don’t seem to understand what they’re saying, ask them “What example can you use, one that we all experience from time to time, to make your message more understandable?” Let them discover the answer on their own.

If you haven’t explained the value of assigning tasks to the subconscious mind, which we’ve discussed often in previous posts, this is a good time to do it. If you’re not familiar with this topic and would like to learn more, you’ll find the information in my book, One With The Universe.

Then they too will experience the connection between confidence, simplicity and influence.

I love hearing your thoughts and experiences, please share your experience below.

If you’d like to enjoy great confidence, check out our Confidence Self-Study programs.

If you’d like to enrich the lives of others by teaching them to be more confident, check out our Teaching Confidence Instructor Certification program.

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